A third shark attack has happened in Florida. :o
Good thing i'm going to the beach in California....
It's time to go fishing for me then, I love to fish for shark. Better to eat some of them before they get more of us in florida.
And a good thing I am in HAWAII!!!(https://www.pogocheats.net/proxy/?http://smilies.sofrayt.com/fsc/laugh.gif)
They need Chief Brody down there O0
Quote from: beanie on July 01, 2005, 08:13:10 PM
It's time to go fishing for me then, I love to fish for shark. Better to eat some of them before they get more of us in florida.
I caught a small 3-4 footer before. I wasn't messing with that sucker. I cut the line and dumped him.
Well, if one can get up the Rio Grande then I'll start worrying...
But of course there are those pesky land sharks...
"Candygram"... I hate to ask who remembers that old SNL sketch.
I do! I loved the early SNL. Not to hijack a topic (oh, as if!) Nothing was funnier that SNL in the early years.
[ Music: "Jaws Theme" ]
[ open on interior, apartment ]
[ doorbell sounds ]
Woman #1: [ moves to chain-locked door ] Who is it?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Ramilarghh??
Woman #1: Who is it?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber..
Woman #1: Plumber? I didn't ask for a plumber. Who is it?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Telegram.
Woman #1: Oh. Telegram. Just a moment.
[ unlocks door, and opens it. The head of the shark appears, grabbing her arm and pulling her into the hallway as she screams. ]
[ SUPER: "Jaws II" ]
[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Sheriff and Matt Hooper looking over a three-foot long metal tub covered with a white cloth ]
Matt Hooper: [ looks under cloth and winces ] Oh, my God!
Sheriff: What was it?
Matt Hooper: Land shark. The cleverest species of them all.
Sheriff:
[ dissolve to Woman #2 in her apartment ]
[ Music: "Jaws Theme ]
[ a knock at the door ]
Woman #2: [ appoaches the door ] Yes?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Arlsbergerhh??
Woman #2: Who?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Mrs. Johnannesburrrr??
Woman #2: Who is it?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Flowers.
Woman #2: Flowers? From whom?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Plumber, ma'am..
Woman #2: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever shark, aren't you?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Candygram.
Woman #2: Candygram, my foot! Get out of here before I call the proper authorities. You're the shark, and you know it.
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] I'm only a dolphin, ma'am..
Woman #2: A dolphin? Well.. okay..
[ she opens the door, as the shark pulls her screaming into the hallway ]
[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Matt Hooper lifts up cloth napkin covering plate, then winces and looks away ]
Sheriff: What is it?
Matt Hooper: Egg salad again. [ removes sandwich from under napkin, and takes a bite ]
[ dissolve to Woman #3 in her apartment, Woman #2 putting on make-up to go out ]
[ door buzzes ]
Woman #3: Who is it?
Land Shark: [ muffled voice ] Land Shark.
Woman #3: [ laughing ] Oh, Walter!
[ she opens door laughing, but is attacked and dragged into the hall by the Land Shark ]
[ dissolve to Sheriff's Office, Sheriff on phone looking horrified into another rtub covered with cloth ]
Sheriff: [ on phone ] Hello, Walter. I have some good news, and I have some bad news. First, the good news. There's a party tonight at my house. Now, the bad news: you'll be coming stag. Goodbye, Walter..
[ dissolve to Woman #4 in apartment, listening to the radio ]
Radio: ...considered the cleverest of all sharks. Unlike the great white, which tends to inhabit the waters of harbors and recreational beach areas, the Land Shark may strike at any place, any time. It is capable of disguising its voice, and generally preys on young, single women. Experts at the University of Miami's Oceanographic Institute suggest that the best way to scare off the shark in the event of an attack is to hit or punch the predator in the Nose. Now for the weather..
Woman #4: [ turns off radio, as the doorbell rings ] Who is it?
Muffled Voice: Sorry to disturb you, ma'am. I'm from the Jehovah's Witnesses, and thought you might be interested in a copy of our journal, "The Watchtower".
Woman #4: [ grabs a mallet and inches towards the door ] Why, I'd be very interested..
Muffled Voice: Would you mind opening the door, ma'am?
Woman #4: Certainly.
[ she unlocks the door a crack, and reaches out with the mallet to strike the Land Shark's head. Instead of the shark, a Jehovah's Witness stumbles into the apartment and drops onto the floor in front of her. ]
[ SUPER: "The End?" ]
[ fade ]
SNL Transcripts
;D Thanks Barbara, now I have to go pull out my old copies of SNL just to go watch the Land Shark in action. So much for getting more badges tonight ;D
You're welcome honey. Give Mom and Dad my Fourth of July best wishes. Oh, and tell them that your brother needs to share better.
SHHH don't tell my brother, but he is moving over the weekend and I am going to "borrow" his silver bundle of fun >:D Can't wait to get it home with me. I may even have to stay in a hotel over night so I can play quicker. 900 miles is a long way to drive in anticipation of my own couch and television ;)
Bah ha ha! You deserve it!
Hubby said were having a "private party", lock the doors, shut the blinds, turn off the phone and send the kid away so we can play till our fingers bleed. Your invited too.
Somehow, I knew it would be Barb that not only remembered but got a transcript....
I am honored, thanks. My turn at the game will be brief, making me the gal who has to make the margaritas at the mini bar. I am so bad at video games. Don't expect me to be bogarting the game for more than 30 seconds. I will step on a land mine before I even get to make a move.
Quote from: Barbara on July 01, 2005, 09:50:04 PM
I am honored, thanks. My turn at the game will be brief, making me the gal who has to make the margaritas at the mini bar. I am so bad at video games. Don't expect me to be bogarting the game for more than 30 seconds. I will step on a land mine before I even get to make a move.
Forget making the margaritas, we'll be the one's sitting on the floor drinking them. Make the men work the bar!!!
I like the way that you think!
Quote from: Barbara on July 01, 2005, 10:02:22 PM
I like the way that you think!
Is there any other way to think?!?!?! Just remember, no getting the cats drunk. They get nasty when hung over ;)
How about Homer's getting drunk? (https://www.getsmile.com/smilies/%5Ecad/cat20.gif)
Sure, I'll even pull out my Homer bottle opener for you ;)
Barbara, even better idea than sitting on the floor drinking, since all the guys will be busy with the video games, that means all my puters will be available for getting badges, they can serve our drinks in here O0
Quote from: Jeffer on July 01, 2005, 08:33:07 PM
Well, if one can get up the Rio Grande then I'll start worrying...
But of course there are those pesky land sharks...
"Candygram"... I hate to ask who remembers that old SNL sketch.
Who remembers the classic "Judy Millier's hates Jennifer Show?" Gilda in that girl scout costume, ranting about her evil sister is classic. Nothing is funnier.
Quote from: NotAdumbBlonde on July 01, 2005, 10:21:28 PM
Sure, I'll even pull out my Homer bottle opener for you ;)
Barbara, even better idea than sitting on the floor drinking, since all the guys will be busy with the video games, that means all my puters will be available for getting badges, they can serve our drinks in here O0
Men who serve us cocktails while we get badges? It is the mother ship calling us home. Life is sweet.
I have mine trained extremely well. Now he better have taken next week off. It's very hard to drive and play the DS at the same time ;)
Men are wonderful creatures, they look good and they smell good. Think we can train them to make fondue for us while we play?
Quote from: Barbara on July 01, 2005, 10:33:31 PM
Men are wonderful creatures, they look good and they smell good. Think we can train them to make fondue for us while we play?
I'm sure I can make him make it for us, can I guarantee it would make it back to us?!?!?!?! Doubt it :(
But it's worth a try
I don't think real men eat fondue, do they?
My experience, men who are drinking will eat almost anything. And I never said mine was a real man, just trained to service me well O0
lol
Quote from: NotAdumbBlonde on July 01, 2005, 10:43:56 PM
My experience, men who are drinking will eat almost anything. And I never said mine was a real man, just trained to service me well O0
Maybe we can just get the men folk to answer the door when the room service waiter knocks.
I will just make sure that the room has a hot tub!
Drinks / Hot tub / Pogo on the lap tops what a ideal evening O0
Oh Gosh, I can see it now. I get the last Lottso badge just as I am electrocuted to death from the hot tub and I live out Max's prophesy that I "died trying."
Quote from: Barbara on July 01, 2005, 10:59:31 PM
Oh Gosh, I can see it now. I get the last Lottso badge just as I am electrocuted to death from the hot tub and I live out Max's prophesy that I "died trying."
;D The point is, you got the badge!!!
>:D Now, can I take over your account and have all your badges??? >:D
Yes, you may have my Pogo name and the 347 badges. We are going to have to send you to Badge Fairy boot camp and toughen you up though. Hoofs can leave bruises, ya know.
Where can I sign up? What is the cost? Do you take Visa or my first born??? Please Please Please take my first born!
And just for the record, I would love to see that wonderful album of yours someday. Need something to look forward to ;)
You have no idea what you are in for Darling. The Badge Hog has super powers that we mere mortals cannot understand. You will have to be trained for long hours, sleep deprived and fed a diet of kerosene and battery acid just to toughen you up. You will have to have the reflexes of a cat, the willpower of ten men and the abilty to multi task like a octopi, after 3 triple lattes. You will learn to live on Red Bull and Pop Rocks to keep going. Sorry for the pause, I had to bang my head on the desk to remain frosty.
Badge Hog, think of it as fun-due and you will love it!
Quote from: Barbara on July 01, 2005, 11:33:22 PM
You have no idea what you are in for Darling. The Badge Hog has super powers that we mere mortals cannot understand. You will have to be trained for long hours, sleep deprived and fed a diet of kerosene and battery acid just to toughen you up. You will learn to live on Red Bull and Pop Rocks to keep going. Sorry for the pause, I had to bang my head on the desk to remain frosty.
I read your post and I think I am up for the challenge. Let's break this down a little:
You will have to be trained for long hours and sleep deprived = I am a mother.
fed a diet of kerosene and battery acid just to toughen you up = Ever spend the summer eating nothing but hot dogs at the little league ball field. Nothing can be worse than that.
You will have to have the reflexes of a cat, the willpower of ten men and the ability to multi task like a octopi, after 3 triple lattes. = Again, I am a mother of teenage boys, that is all I have done for the past 17 years.
You will learn to live on Red Bull and Pop Rocks to keep going. = Still sounds better than Little League Hot dogs and popcorn.
As far as the banging head against the desk, don't forget that I am married too.
I think I am up for the challenge. O0
did I get accepted?
Welcome to the Club. Now we have to get your uniform, Prada, natch!
I am so excited!!! As far as the uniform, I saw a cute little Prada top, and it's on sale for $275.98.
Is there a dress code or can I play in the nude?
Hmmm, Prada versus nada. I pick Prada.
I thought about what you said, took a good look in the mirror and your right again, prada wins over nada. ;D
Yep yep, I know what cha mean. Gravity works.
If gravity works any harder, I can use them for a seat cushion :o
Oh my! Are you working on your badges?
What else could I be doing?!?!?! Determined to finish Casino Island before tomorrow night.
Quote from: Homer on July 01, 2005, 08:18:18 PM
Quote from: beanie on July 01, 2005, 08:13:10 PM
It's time to go fishing for me then, I love to fish for shark. Better to eat some of them before they get more of us in florida.
I caught a small 3-4 footer before. I wasn't messing with that sucker. I cut the line and dumped him.
Homer, you should have eaten it, they are great- no bones and white meat- yum yum. :P