Insane Ways To Order A Pizza
- If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
- Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
- Use CB lingo where applicable.
- Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
- Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
- Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
- Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
- Answer their questions with questions.
- In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.
- Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
- Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
- Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
- Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.
- Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
- Stutter on the letter "p."
- Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)
- Ask what the order taker is wearing.
- Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
- Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
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