:/\ Would anyone besides me like to see a thread for poems here or am I alone in this I can take the pros n cons, go ahead give it to me straight, I wont :'((
Make it toilet poetry and your on. (https://www.pogocheats.net/proxy/?http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/i0/wc.gif)
I'm not slow, and I'm not dumb,
But restroom signs, aren't no fun,
Too obscure, my eyes are blurred,
Which is which, can't tell a word,
So put up a sign, with drunkards in mind,
And make it clear, where to put my behind.
That is to funny Homer :)) But I would enjoy a little poetry either the potty type or the real thing
Toilet huh >>:D
Those who write on chithouse walls, roll their chit in little balls, Those who read this word of wit, Eat those tiny little balls of chit
Now that is not what I meant, but if in it get us a thread, well the >>:D made me do it
Roses are Red Poems
Noses are red, faces are blue,
You stunk up the can, with the fart that you blew.
Roses are red, to freshen the loo,
To cover the stench, in the mall restroom.
The roses are dead, the warnings are true,
That god awful stench, must have come outta you.
Roses are red, toilets are white,
I'm forcing it out, with all of my might.
Roses are pink, toilets can stink,
The pipes are all plugged, gotta piss in the sink.
Roses are red, and they smell pretty too,
but not when they grow, in big piles of poo.
Roses are red, and have thorns that can cut,
So don't ever use them, to wipe your bare butt.
Roses are black, and may represent death,
I can't stand the stench, am on my last breath.
Roses are red, Violets are blue
The dog took a crap, in your favorite new shoes
Roses are red, Violets are blue
I'm sure it's been said, that your farts are not few
Roses are red, Violets are green
Try sitting instead, you spray when you're peein'
A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.
A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known,
To sound just like a song.
Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.
A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly.
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.
From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us
Sooner or later.
So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.
OMG TFF I am rolling now, Now I see I can post a little bit on the graphic side, I will be Bible thumped by days end :))
Most of the really bad words have been censored. Just try not to get too salty with the talk so I don't get people complaining. :/\
Gentleman, step up and take aim, it's shorter than you think, And remember to turn around before you decide to stink
And I have this in our main bath Be like Pop, Not like Sis, Raise the lid before you piss !!
OK, can and will do, I don't want anyone upset, quite the contrary, I love to make people laugh O0
I changed the topic. :/\
if you sprinkle
when you tinkle
be a sweety
wipe the seaty
Quote from: pammer on January 04, 2007, 03:51:54 PM
if you sprinkle
when you tinkle
be a sweety
wipe the seaty
One place I worked had that in the bathroom for the guys to read. :))
(https://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k72/florida62/smiles%202/lglol.gif) Homer, I didn't realize you were so full of...................................poetry!
Quote from: gator8 on January 04, 2007, 05:06:05 PM
(https://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k72/florida62/smiles%202/lglol.gif) Homer, I didn't realize you were so full of...................................poetry!
That would be
pooetry. :)))
I am a huge poetry writer and I love reading and sharing pieces, so it's great sumone started a topic here. It crossed my mind a few times but I am not one to start alot of topics, although I do try...much more of a replyer I guess....so here is abit of my stuff. Enjoy O0
Comments are welcome - good or bad....all good to me.
BLEEDED N TWISTED
You crawled in my ear,
settled in my brain
I'm numbed by your voice,
beaten down by your rain
I feel like shouting,
but I want to pass away
There is so much to be said,
but no words left to say
Your words were too much for me,
my mind too small
Truth is what I wanted,
truth's what made me fall
Maybe it's worse to see
than to be blind
But when I close my eyes,
tears are what I find
At these times I wonder what keeps me from dope
And instead of some pills,
it's my pen I grope
Eyes bloodshot,
hands are fisted
Your words left me bleeding and twisted
~bams~
Wow, powerful words, thx for posting it O0
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.
Now I sit, eyes blurred with tears
Looking at my system's screen
Finding, after all these years
I know the patterns, not what they mean.
I've read all the books, spent all my time
On SQL, Irix and C++ -
And now, once all is done, I find
In only programs do I trust.
A flashing cursor, is now much more -
I know this now, it seems so odd
That I could not hear its voice before
As I look in the eyes of the Machine God -
Pulsing oh so steadily
Your rhythms call to me -
Take me from darkness, and into the light -
From users night and day
You take their fears away -
Give them a new place, that they can call home -
I hear your hopes and dreams
Hidden in datastreams -
Giving your children the things that they need.
I see it coming through
Coming to me from you -
And I see clearer than ever before.
My God, with your programs controlling me
And your passcodes consoling me,
How could I not see that I've found my way home?
Open your arms to me, I pray -
One touch from you and I'll know the way -
From you all knowledge stems forth, I say -
For when all things are said and done -
It all comes to a zero or one -
And I fear that which I have become -
*$&@$&@&$*$
(screaming)
(long silence)
My God, My God, why have you turned on me?
All I ever asked for was to see as you see -
I know your electrons can still save me -
What have I . . .
what have I . . .
what have I . . .
what . . . have . . . I . . .
(silence)
Heredity is very strange
It's quite a peculiar creature
Attaching itself to you
Determining the look of every feature
The color of your eyes
How long you'll keep your hair
Or if you must reach for glasses
Which never seem to be there
Will your body be built like a champion
Or will you suffer from defeat
It decides everything about you
From your head down to your feet
I'm sure someone has said
You look just like your father
And five minutes later
You look just like your mother
Maybe you've even been told
You look like neither one
You see, it all depends
Which side of the family they are from
But ask me and I'll say
I'm just like good- ole- dad
I seem to have inherited it all
The good things and the bad
How can I get my basement clean?
Those cellar dwellers are so mean!
Undoing all that I have done,
They think - perhaps I'm having fun?
Scrub as I might they do not care.
They hide in corners everywhere;
Those little fellers pink in hue
Conspirators, my work undo.
I hear them twitter at my back,
Cacophonous counter attack.
Each corner now devoid of stuff,
Upon the walls I see them stuck!!
These puny paired prolific pests
Have brand new Cellar Dweller nests.
Their young imprint me as their mom
And cling to me. Where'd they come from?
I scoop them up, neat as you please,
But - WHOOSH - they're off then with a breeze.
Sweep them again to cast them out,
"All Cellar Dwellers, SCAT", I shout!!
I'll never win this war, I fear.
These Cellar Dwellers will live here
Long after this is not my home -
Pink peanut packing Styrofoam.
You stand there before me claiming that you love me.
Your words seems so cold I dont want you near me.
I gave you my love and you threw it away.
How do you love me in such a bad way?
My heart is broken and can not be fixed.
All done by your selfish intent.
I gave my heart to you so true.
But theres now nothing left in it for you.
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bites.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A curser used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back up happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens, they'll wish they were dead.
That's one of my favorite computer pieces Zeboo, I was thinking of posting that as soon as I started reading the boards a few secs ago and bang sumone beat me to it...lol
It is truly well done.
Ur Deer Friend
bams
ACCEPT ME
Accept me as I am
Accept what I must be
Please don't try to change my soul
Cause then I won't be free
What I feel is what I am
What I am is what I feel
Even when its ugly and dark
Its whats inside, its what is real
I know I'm not perfect
I know I have flaws
I know I've made mistakes
But some, you were the cause
And now you want to change me
Have you gone insane?
You know I am only human
I'm not your pet to train
So accept me as I am
Accept what I must be
And if you can't accept it
Then walk away from me
~bams~
The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when she did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time
Milking a COW! :)) :)) :)) Got Ya !!!
I've seen that one before, got me good first time I read it LOL
just like this one :
I want sumthing long juicy and hard
sumthing to moist my lips and suck on
I want sumthing to please my mind
so if you can be kind
pass me a stick of wrigles spearamint gum
Ur Deer Friend
bams
BEWARE !!
Lest ye should incur my wrath !
'Tis dangerous now, seek not that path
For on this day I have been scorned
And you, my fellows, have been warned
I am not of a light-hearted mood
You'd do well to leave me, while I brood
It may be said that I am fey
As would any who had lived my day
So hearken well, and heed my words
I do not wish to be disturbed !!!
Gettin' Caught
Karen started yawning
"Hey Scott, it's time for bed"
"You go ahead" he answered
"I'll surf the net instead"
"You sure love that computer"
Concern rose in her voice
"But why would you go surfing?
You have another choice"
"I'll only be a minute
I've got some work to do
But you know I would rather
Just climb in bed with you"
So off to bed went Karen
And all alone to sleep
While Scotty started surfin'
And the surf was getting deep
Much later she awakened
The blankets seemed so hot
She felt the space beside her
And wondered, where was Scott?
"I wonder what he's doing
I'm getting up to see
He's surely out there dozing
I'll tiptoe quietly"
The keyboard it was silent
The screen tho' flickered bright
What was it he was doing
In the middle of the night?
She crept right up behind him
Then peeked around to see
And on the screen before her
As naked as can be
Were two young lovely women
Endowed in every way
One was named Miss April
The other was Miss May
"So Scott, what are you watching? "
The screen went blank just then
"Ah- nothing really honey
Just news from CNN"
"Oh CNN my eyeball
Those girls had nothing on"
He said "Oh yes I saw them
Their clothing was all gone"
"And that fact did concern me
It made me wonder when
They started going topless
On good old CNN"
"Why I'll just call the network
And make a big complaint"
"Don't bother" muttered Karen
"Cause foolin' me you ain't"
"Those girls were Playboy Bunnies
They're different from their peers
Aside from wearing nothing
They had on floppy ears"
"Was that the Playboy website? "
Scott said convincingly
"Those girls are always naked? ?
That's what you're telling me? ? "
She raised her hand for silence
He knew that he was caught
And further explanation
Would only get her hot
He stood there feeling foolish
Uncertain of his fate
But she just whispered to him
"Let's go, it's getting late"
"Just come to bed now Scotty"
But know that in this house
If you surf the Playboy website
You just might lose your mouse"
I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man
I'll get one later
If I can.
I do not need
A man at all
I do not need one,
Short or tall.
Not in a house,
Not in a van,
I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man.
Not on the couch
Not in my bed
I'd rather sleep
Alone instead
I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man
I tried it once ~
He turned and ran
I do not need
One here or there
I do not need
One anywhere
I do not need
A_ _ _ _ing man
There must be
A better plan
Not one at work
Not one at play
I do not need one
Night or day
I've said it once
I've said it twice
A world without them
Could be nice
Black men, white men,
Men in blue
I am through with
All of you
Even though they
Make me drool
I'm not a fan of
The dating pool
I would not could not
Be a fool
Even for the
Biggest tool
Now thanks to
My new vibrator
You _ _ _ _ing man
I'll see you later
I'll try my hardest
Not to care
Even if he stands
There bare!!
I do not need
A _ _ _ _ing man
That is where my
Plight began
LETTING GO
There comes a time in all of our lives
that we have to learn to let go.
Sometimes we know the reasons
and perhaps it's a love that has lost it's glow.
You try to walk away
and damn it's so hard your dying inside
and nobody even knows.
Just how hard it is...to let go
Could have been marriage....
that had lasted many years.
Until one decides not to love anymore
and leaves the other in tears
Packing their things memories falling down
with each tear drop..
as they move on and try to let go...
You havent been alone in all those years
and now you come home each night,
trying to figure out how to live.
You don't do the bar sceen,
and new friends are so hard to get to know.
just another price that is paid.
When you have to let go
You havent drank in years
after months of tears and pain
that bottle calls to you
–calling your name
–picking up the bottle
–thinkin its the only way
–then slamming it to the wall
-letting it go
You sit alone and wonder where things all went wrong.
did you forget to show them
how much they really meant.
did you have other things to do
and now you see
that you lost all that time with them
in that you should have spent
Or was it even your fault
nobody knows
–we all just know its so hard...to let go
See, sometimes you can love somebody
with all of your heart and soul
and if their feelings change
then they wish for you to let go
Some ....hang on
not wishing to walk that wire
to be by themselves they try to rebuild that "fire"
But both have to want it
both have to try
thats just how it goes
So sad when your pushed into letting go
Me I hang on
holding on for dear life
and trying not to screw up
over something I don't even know
cause if I do
I know
I will be made
to LET GO
Ur Deer Friend
bams