Q: What was the doctors prognosis after Lindsay fractured her wrist in two places at a Fashion Week party in New York?
A: No vigorous drunken handjobs for 6 weeks!
Q: Why is Lindsay Lohan's statement about being married by the age of the 30 in InStyle Magazine unlikely?
A: Her current plan to be a drug-bloated corpse by the time she's 25, is "still very much on pace."
Q: Why is Lindsay Lohan looking forward to hitting rock bottom?
A: Because she thinks there is a crack rock there!
Q: How did Lindsay Lohan pass her court ordered drug test?
A: They couldn't find any urine in her cocaine!
Q: What is Higher?
A: Food prices
B: Gas Prices
C: Unemployment
D: Lindsay Lohan
Brazilian
Ali Lohan tells sister, Lindsay Lohan "I slept with a Brazilian...." Then Lindsay Lohan replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"