Found this little gem in a response from Miss netiguette(whatever)
In a little while Pogo will be announcing the "Stealth Mode" feature which will allow you to remain hidden when you play. This will also serve you and others well when they want to play, but don't necessarily wish to socialize.
Found this from the Editors column
Editor: Thanks for your letter. We are aware of the issue that you describe with the Friends List, and that's why we'll be releasing "Stealth Mode" in a little while. "Stealth Mode" will make it so that you can't be tracked through the Friends List. This should solve that issue.